gallery Dear Lover 

Dear Lover,
It’s eight days before departure day and already I feel choked up in my throat
The thought of being apart from you
For such an extended period of time
Has given me pause
We’ve never spent that much time apart ever since we first started coming together
And now I’m unsure of what to do
But to channel this loneliness that I feel
Into these letters to you
I know you would be proud of me
Doing something productive with what hurts me most
For I do not wish to displace it to you
And you’ll see what my passion can do
For each day I’ll display what my heart can’t say
And when you come back
Open arms instead of obstacles will be directed your way
For love will always find a way
At least,
That is what you say

Dear Lover,
It’s been two weeks since you’ve been gone
And I am officially feeling sad and torn over you
You should be coming home soon
But I can’t help but wonder if I’ll still know you
We said our first “I love you’s” over the phone
And now of course I am unsure of how to treat you when you get home
In the time that you’ve been gone
It’s quite clear to see
How much you’ve come to mean to me
I am,
Throughly in love with you
Everyday you’re away
The more this love feels brand new
I swear you constantly hit that runway door
Just to make me want you more

Dear Lover,
By now
You’re home again
And more than likely
I’ve hidden my love with that
Quiet girl shy smile again
When inside
There is such a huge grin
And elation bubbling out of my skin
But without a doubt
I’ll curb it with self-conscious pride
Letting my love beam through my eyes
Instead of telling you what I’m feeling from the inside
For I sense a hesitatance in you
And this gives me pause
I am,
Consciously doubting the bond we share
Is it too good to be real? Or as you claim,
Am I seemingly getting caught up on insecurities coming out of thin air?

Dear Lover,
It’s me again
You never did hear the love that I expressed with my pen
And now this love letter has turned into a sad love song
Somehow I got it all wrong
This time it’s finally the end
No more text messages
My finger no longer hovers over the send
And my heart is full of pain
Churning over our end
You said all the right things
To gain my heart
But I realize that I held back from you
Because you were holding back from me
You had a double life
That I was too blind to see
And now
We are separated indefinitely
My love will never cease to be
But instead changes dramatically

Dear Lover,
I wish you the best in life
And pray for your success each night
I bear no resentment or bitterness
Just a hole from the pain
Thinking about the man that I thought I knew
And by now
I’m sure you’ve moved onto somebody new
I tried to see something that wasn’t meant to be
Lessons learned and growth gained
Through immeasurable pain
But If I ever see you again
This time I can walk away
Knowing that it’s ok
To not be ok
And remembering how our darkness swept me away

~Phoenix Divine



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