gallery Borderline Personality Such & Such

It feels like I’m on the outside looking in
But really I’m on the inside looking out
I can’t see that I’m in (your heart)
and when I do
I want the fuck OUT

They say
I have….attachment issues
Borderline Personality such and such

They say
That I don’t know who I am
And I won’t keep or pursue a good man

See…abuse looks a lot like love to me
So I’m
Constantly pulling you in
And then pushing you out

I’ve learned
Hurt is what love is about

It’s exhausting…
Trying to heal
To attach my broken pieces
That I have a detachment to

I’m borderlining on self destruction and trauma driven success

I live life without a safety net
From one extreme to the next

Either you’re all in or just get the fuck out

It’s true
That I don’t know what I want
But I’d like to think that I do

I look well put together
But trust no one in my third eye view

I want to be whole
But I can’t tolerate the pain
I avoid the same issues over and over again

But let’s not mistake borderline with PTSD
See I have so many disorders
That I get confused by me

When really they’re all one
Stemming from the same affliction
I was
Traumatized at a young age
Until childhood adversity
Made adulthood seem like a parade

But I survived
So there’s that…
Hooray!

I’m a walking oxymoronic mess
A beautifully chaotic
Tragically untypical Princess
Yet typified by mental disorders
that at the end of the day
“Stay away from me, I’m broken.”
Is what my actions say

Phoenix Divine 

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